I want to share a personal story with you, one that shaped my understanding of emotional intelligence and its profound impact on leadership.

Many years ago, I was at a crossroads in my career. On the surface, everything seemed perfect – a successful career, a growing client base, and recognition in my field. But beneath that exterior, I felt disconnected – from my work, my relationships, and most importantly, from myself. 

I was living by other people’s expectations, constantly striving to meet standards that weren’t aligned with my own values and desires, or ME as a woman.

Early one morning before work, I found myself broken down, crying at the bottom of the shower… sick, feeling exhausted and in pain.  I hadn’t even realized how disconnected with myself I had become. 

That’s when I realized that I had self-sacrificed, self-abandoned and prioritized everyone and everything else. I hadn’t set clear boundaries because I was more focused on saying yes to everyone and everything else for the sake of achieving, delivering and accomplishing.  I was self-sacrificing my own health on all levels, rather than respecting my own needs of my mind, spirit, and body. 

This experience led me to explore the keys to emotional mastery:

1. Setting Bold Boundaries: I learned that boundaries are not about controlling others, but about protecting my own energy and values. By focusing on my behavior and what I would tolerate and what I would NOT tolerate, I began to attract clients and opportunities in my life and career that were in alignment with my true self. I put myself first, prioritized my health on all levels and gave myself time to heal from the exhaustion and burnout.  This led me to joy, health, wealth and love on so many levels!

2. Emotional Awareness: I started paying attention to my emotions as messengers rather than problems to be solved. Whoa! That was a real change in my life… When I felt frustration or anxiety, I asked myself what those feelings were trying to tell me. This practice deepened my understanding of my own needs and allowed me to make decisions that honored them, and myself. Your feelings can be your superpowers.

3. Self-Acceptance: Perhaps the biggest shift came when I stopped striving for perfection and began embracing self-acceptance AND self-compassion. I realized that self-confidence without self-acceptance is hollow. When I aligned my actions with my values, I found a newfound sense of trust in myself, which transformed the way I led my career, business and my life.

4. Connection & Vulnerability: As I became more comfortable with my own emotions, I found it easier to connect with others. I was finally able to open up, trust and use discernment. I started being so much more open and vulnerable in my interactions, which deepened my relationships and allowed me to build a stronger community around my work.

5. Values-Driven Goals: I re-evaluated my goals. What did I deeply desire? What did I really pleasure in my life? I also asked myself why each goal mattered and whether it aligned with my core values. These simple shifts helped me overcome stuckness and stay motivated, because I was no longer pursuing goals that didn’t resonate with my true self.

This journey wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen overnight. But by focusing on these key areas of emotional mastery, I was able to reconnect with my authentic self and lead with integrity, compassion, and strength.

A Few Tips for Your Journey:

• Set Clear Boundaries: Start by identifying what matters most to you. What do you really, really want? And don’t want? Define your boundaries around these values, and don’t be afraid to enforce them.
• Practice Emotional Curiosity: When an emotion arises, pause and reflect. What is this feeling trying to communicate? Use this insight to guide your decisions. 
• Align Goals with Values: Define your values and live by them. And, before setting a goal, ask yourself, “Why does this matter to me?” If the answer aligns with your core values, you’ll find it easier to stay committed and be clearer.

Emotional mastery is not just about leading others—it’s about leading yourself with authenticity and purpose. By embracing these practices, you can create a life and leadership style that is deeply fulfilling and true to who you are.

With love and empowerment,

Susan Elizabeth
xox

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