In my last blog, I spoke about the strength found in feminine qualities and how the corporate world often views them as a weakness. When I entered that world, I remember being terrified of applying my feminine power in the workplace. And why wouldn’t I have been? Time has proven that the corporate environment rewards displays of masculine aspects, like delivering on projects and achieving goals. So, I resolved to do just that; I opted to “man up.” And I was rewarded.
There is supposedly little room for feminine emotions in the corporate world – no space for humility and humanity. But it is thankfully changing, albeit slowly. I know this because I have been there for over three decades, toeing the line and putting more energy into my masculine aspects so I could get ahead. Now, with the clarity of years of self-work, when I read job descriptions, there’s never anything written about the human being-ness in those roles. All they seem to care about is what education is being sought after, what you can deliver, and what your talents are.
After a long time of living in the masculine aspects I reinforced to be successful, I was exhausted. I felt stuck and kept getting sick. All. The. Time. It was my body telling me I needed to stop or change something because my mind sure wasn’t. I wasn’t being true to my nature, living and working “in” my masculine aspects all the time. It stifled my joy, and I was lying to myself that it was all okay and this was how it was supposed to be. I needed to present as tough and powerful. And sure, I needed those qualities, but I was approaching them all wrong.
I broke down like a rusty, old, deflated vehicle on the side of the road that couldn’t go anywhere because something was wrong with it. Like it, I was worn out, broken, and desperately needing attention. Despite trying so hard to put on a brave face and maintain control for so long, I finally couldn’t keep it up anymore and let my guard down. I cried like a baby on the floor in a fetal position crying. And it felt really, really good. Then I realized that releasing those tears and the sobbing reminded me how human and natural and raw the emotions I had were perfectly imperfect and natural. It came as such a relief because from that point on; I could finally start to feel, make new decisions for myself, evolve with the courage to be authentically me, and have more faith in my feminine.
As women, it’s easy to have an issue with our self-worth, especially in business. In traditional roles, masculine energies often receive rewards, so it becomes apparent that we need to develop and display our masculine aspects. Throughout my career, I took on highly-developed masculine characteristics, making the assumption with my limiting beliefs that women were regarded as “too emotional,” “irrational,” and “lacking the balls.” And that primarily stems from a lack of corporate female role models since not many existed (and while it’s improving, I can’t deny there’s still a significant gap in representation in some areas or businesses.)
So, in an effort for relief, true joy and happiness, authenticity, and to find my true center, I learned how to redefine strength, power, and success from the feminine. It took a great deal of time, coaching, self-development work, journaling, meditation, group evolvement classes, energetic investment, and sheer determination. But eventually, I found a way to love and accept myself. I could accentuate my true self and fully show up for my life in all areas with authenticity.
Women bring empathy, listening, collaboration, creativity, brainstorming, and human-beingness into the workplace. They can nurture and lead from places of intuition and compassion, with an excellent grasp of strategy. Take a look at the strong women who have since made a name for themselves in the business world, like Oprah, Beyonce, Sophia, and a whole host of others who are vulnerable, strong, powerful, and feminine. They live as beautiful, capable women offering themselves to the world and sharing their talent, vision, and purpose. If they can do it, if I can learn how to do it, so can you.
I’m always happy to share my story of who I am and the journey that got me here. It took time, but I am now unafraid to bring my bright light into a room and be authentically me: a compassionate, open, sensitive woman who doesn’t miss a thing that can also perform decisively and strategically. When we recognize and own the women we are, the world benefits. We do everyone a disservice by denying our feminine power. When we embrace ourselves for who we are, we no longer feel exhausted, overwhelmed, stuck, or get sick. Our energy, focus, and time can be directed into more important things than hiding a part of ourselves. There is a natural harmony, flow, and ease when we’re comfortable moving between the masculine and feminine aspects of our true selves, and it’s intoxicatingly empowering.
As Maya Angelou said, “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” Don’t hold back. Burst from your cocoon!
Envision how you want to live as a feminine and powerful woman and identify the obstacles standing in the way. Learn the simple steps you can take TODAY to finally find the balance you deserve.